Tag Archives: relationships

Today

I am consumed by hate and fear and anxiety, when I desperately want to feel love and joy and calm. My face is forgetting how to smile. I need to remember how to do it before it’s gone for good. … Continue reading

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Sigh. (Again.)

After today’s colossal and repeated errors in judgement, rampant foolishness, overwhelming panic and just utter stupidity, I have come to the conclusion that I learn slower than a fucking pigeon. When will it end? I am an unstoppable fool; this … Continue reading

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Words

I was awake much of last night, thinking, crying, anxious, frightened almost. I wrote in my diary and listened to music that can sometimes settle me but last night, nothing. It was a bad night. Dark thoughts, wanting to just … Continue reading

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I have a friend

who I have known for 20 years. His name is Stuart. We became friends back when I went to college as a mature student. (Even though I was only 23 at the time I had not been in education since … Continue reading

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Mr Blue Sky

The soundtrack to one of the best periods of my life was ELO’s Out of the Blue. I listened to it on repeat on a nearly worn-through cassette on my shiny yellow sports Walkman. I went everywhere hearing Jeff Lynne’s … Continue reading

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“Shut up and move with me, or get out of my faceā€¦. “

“Shut up and stay with me, or let go of my hand” I want to move on. I want to run very fast and very far and I am being held back by people who want me to stand still. … Continue reading

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It’s just a ride.

It has been a week of up and down. I am dealing well with the OCD behaviours and making some good progress and I’m happy about that. But I have been in very low mood, dwelling on the last 8 … Continue reading

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Wisdom.

“When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.” – Maya Angelou I would have saved myself a lot of heartache if I’d done just that.

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Saturday dancing!

I am exhausted. Yesterday I felt fed up, tired, lonely, unwilling to see any further ahead because what I’m looking at is endless and miserable. So, today I am choosing to do something about it, get my head right, move … Continue reading

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Speechless

My very talented husband played this piece at his Mum’s funeral. She had taught him to play the piano and he is incredibly gifted and wanted to pay his respects and show his love for her with this piece. When … Continue reading

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