Tag Archives: illness

Neutropenia.

J is going back to Birmingham. Another blow. He has neutropenia; his white blood cells are demolished and there’s nowhere to go with medication now. No changes to make that will help him. I do not know what they will … Continue reading

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Two steps forward…

‚Ķone step back. Or what feels like two steps back. He’s back in hospital. He was feeling unwell for a few days and then he went really poorly on Thursday and was readmitted while they work out what’s wrong. Turns … Continue reading

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Therapy. Again.

It’s been a rough few days. Raging paranoia, anxiety, panic, sadness, mania, all flooding through me, as bad as it has been for a long time. I’ve been practising compassion-focussed therapy and it is such hard work to get to … Continue reading

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Judgement.

I have been thinking about J and his transplant, mainly about how people react to him and to me when we tell them that he’s needed a new liver. People sometimes recoil, sometimes look shocked, some seem relieved. I think … Continue reading

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Another scary night

He has a temperature of 38.5 and feels shaky. But he’s adamant that he’s ok and doesn’t need to go to hospital. All I can think of is that the infection is back. He had paracetamol and has gone to … Continue reading

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So, Therapy, pt 3

I started my CBT today. It was fantastic, like I hoped it would be. That single hour has galvanised me, reinforced me, reassured me. I feel almost real again, and hopeful. I think I will be able to find the … Continue reading

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Infection.

So now J has sepsis. The anti-rejection medication has suppressed his bone marrow and his blood count is in his boots. He got an infection and it’s run through him fast. He’s back in hospital and will have to be … Continue reading

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It’s been a bad few days…

The saying goes “When you’re going through hell, keep going.” And I will.

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Saturday dancing!

I am exhausted. Yesterday I felt fed up, tired, lonely, unwilling to see any further ahead because what I’m looking at is endless and miserable. So, today I am choosing to do something about it, get my head right, move … Continue reading

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Transplant

My husband got his new liver on Wednesday the 25th February. ¬†Somebody, somewhere, died that morning and that person’s family bravely offered the organs for transplant. This is a huge thing and I am moved almost beyond words that a … Continue reading

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