I’ve had to stop going for my singing lessons for a while now. Since J had his transplant I’ve had no time to go because I can’t leave him on his own for any length of time. This is about me I think, not him. I have no confidence that he’ll be safe while I’m out. I need to control every little thing at the moment but that will change. I need to practise going out for short periods and getting used to leaving him. Whatever, I have missed my lessons. I have missed feeling good about doing something that’s just for me. I love the lessons, we get silly and do voice exercises and breathing techniques and we have a good laugh and then I sing and it’s not great singing but it’s not terrible either and I really love it. It feels good. I sing a lot at home usually, but these last few weeks have been quiet. I couldn’t get to that part of me that wants to sing. Today though, I caught myself humming and I let it break out into a proper song. It was nice. It sounds pretentious and stupid as I’m writing it down but it’s how I’m feeling. I think it means I’m recovering. I think it means that I’ll be ok. Anyway, here’s what I found myself singing. Make of it what you will.
- "Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. The fearful are caught as often as the bold." - Helen Keller
- "Don't compromise yourself. You are all you've got." - Janis Joplin
- "Take the risk of thinking for yourself, much more happiness, truth, beauty and wisdom will come to you that way." - Christopher Hitchens