Oh dear. Another day where I was down more than up. But the up bits were amazing and I’m massively thankful for that. The down bits will probably happen more often as he gets more ill and I panic about how I’ll get him through this. But I will get him through. And I will get me through. It’s very difficult to imagine one day not having this weight around my neck and being normal again. Right now it feels like every last nerve is used up and I can’t see how I will survive tomorrow, when I take him back to Birmingham and wait for more tests and more decisions and the decision about whether he can have a transplant. It’s like the last big moment. The last giant hurdle. And if the answer is yes, then we can perhaps start to think again about a future. Whatever that is.
*Glen Hansard, “Falling Slowly”