I am anxious and unhappy and I’m losing my hair and I can’t sleep except I can sleep but all fucking day and I can’t eat and I feel sick and lonely and sad all the time and the only thing I can do is try and keep going. But I don’t know how to do it. And I so want to be happy again. I just want to laugh like I used to do and not be this drained, miserable, staggering, whining woman. I have to do something now. The next few months are going to be hard, whether Jeff gets a transplant or not, it’s going to be so scary and very difficult, and I have to be able to focus on getting all of my family through what’s coming. And I foolishly thought I had something just for myself, something that would lift me up and push me forward. I see now that I was probably very mistaken and actually I have nothing and right at this minute that is heartbreaking. I have to understand that for now, there is nothing that is just for me. And once I’ve fully accepted that, I think I can do what I have to do.
- "Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. The fearful are caught as often as the bold." - Helen Keller
- "Don't compromise yourself. You are all you've got." - Janis Joplin
- "Take the risk of thinking for yourself, much more happiness, truth, beauty and wisdom will come to you that way." - Christopher Hitchens