And I Want It, I Want My Life So Bad

I am so confused these days. I stopped my Seroxat completely after 18 years on 30-40mgs. It’s been horrendous but I so wanted to feel like a person again, to stop feeling dead. And now I don’t know from one minute to the next what’s going on in my own head. I’m on a massive slippery ride to chaos. I’m spiralling down and I have no traction, no buffer, no brakes. I’m just gathering momentum and speeding into possible massive damage or brilliance and christ only knows how it will end. I sometimes hope it won’t end. I hope I keep sliding sliding sliding because at times, despite the fear, the ride is fucking awesome.

Advertisements

About pippa

40-something, yogi, gardener, reader and writer. Not great at any of those things but more than happy to be average. I'm anxious, depressed, chaotic, boring, delighted, excited and often foolish. It's all good. And cake.
This entry was posted in anxiety, Fear, withdrawal and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s